life's a mess...

I do not have a past, because it never happened;
but I don't even have a future, because I already missed it.
I can never get old, because I never embrace youth;
but I can never get young, because I'm too old already.

##CONTINUE##

what have I done in my life so crazy that should be remembered?
staying in ib probably was one of it, but no, it was not crazy, it was suicidal, being a part of what I do not belong, pretending I can still hang on to everyone else, friends, friends that I do not trust, friends that I have to put on the public mask for, friends that are forgotten each time life shifts towards a new direction, friends that don't care about me as I don't care about them

I hate to change, but when will this ever end?